Top Story Weekly – Double Down

Just turned in a new sketch for Topstoryweekly on the new KFC Double down. It’s actually 6 individual short, 30 second commercial parody pieces.

I have a pretty good feeling most of it will be used in this Sunday’s show, but I’m also tempted to turn them into videos. I just don’t know if I can bring myself to buy a double down, and the other various things I’d need to make said video.

Totally counts toward my Script frenzy count.. woo whoo 9 pages!

Automated Query Letter Responses

You know it may be a little thing. I know it’s totally automated. It’s completely non-personal.

But getting an automated response to a submission really makes me feel like “hey, these guys may actually read this thing!”

I think maybe one out of five submissions I’ve sent comes back with an automated response.

If Gone‘s going to get published, it’s going to be a company that has their shit together. Maybe that means automated emails, maybe it doesn’t.

Submission Frenzy!

So today I’m going a little email crazy.

I’m shooting out as many emails as I can to Literary agents and small publishers as I can.

I don’t exactly recommend this. Normally I would advise taking a lot more time researching the individuals and the companies, making sure they’re accepting submissions currently, and that they have a history of publishing similar types of work. However my clock is running out and I need to make a push. as it is I probably won’t hear back from most, if any, of these people until after I’ve begun Self Publishing.

At this point, with the count down at 9 days, I’ve basically committed to doing it myself. aka Print on Demand/Self Publishing. So all I can hope for here is some kind of last second Hail Mary Pass or even just the chance to catch someone’s eye enough that they check up on me down the line, pull me aside, say “you’re uniforms crooked soldier. fix it” and then turn around to be the best damn Marine in the platoon.

So here we go shooting out a barrage of query letters hoping just one person out there decides to take a look.

This is why self publishing/POD houses flourish and traditional media consolidates. When you’re dealing with people’s dreams, they don’t want it resting on the  whims of one person. That’s all it takes – one publisher, one literary agent to say “Yea, I’ll back that” and boom – success, even if it’s a modicum of the stuff, it’s the kind of thing you take a trip back to your home town to bask in the glory of.

But with self publishing, you instantly succeed. Self gratification. Instant vanity, just add water.

Automatically your work is done, out there, omni present, and yet lost in a sea of dreams, and you’re value is unchanged.

So I’m moving on with the attempt to take the “do it yourself” to a level of recognition.

Less rambling, more emailing. Tomorrow we’re someone.

Good Morning, is it time to be rejected yet?

Yep, there’s nothing like waking up, rushing to work and checking your email to see the familiar subject line sitting in your in box.

RE: Query Letter – ‘Gone’ A Novel By Sam Proof

It’s so stoic and innocent. But I know as a cold mailing it’s 98% rejection waiting to happen. So here goes:

Thank you for your inquiry, however, I don’t feel we are the best agency for your work.  Good luck in your publishing efforts.

The Angela Rinaldi Literary Agency

And that’s how it goes. almost all cold queries will be rejected; and I don’t blame them. I’ve been on the other side working for various poetry magazine, getting stacks and stacks of horrible poems. And even if they were horrible, if they didn’t blow me away, catch me at the right moment, instinctively attach to some part of my soul they were done in two lines

So that’s that, I open my spreadsheet program and write down the date and a big old ‘NO’ in the response column and move along.